Sometimes the path is hard. It feels hard to put one foot in front of the other. The bushes along the path scratch up your arms and legs. You stumble and trip on the rocks on the path. You fall down and cry. You sit in the middle of the path, sobbing.
You also know that you must go on. You know that the path won’t always be so difficult and you must put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward, even if you don’t progress for a while because you keep backtracking to see what exactly led you to this hard path. In the end, you’ll get there.
My planning is done. Everything is tidy. Our first day of school begins today. Grades 1, 4, and 10.
Last night was very hard. Parenting teenagers is not for the faint of heart. My first reaction is to cancel today and feel angry and sad about my plans being derailed. But I know my other children would be so upset to not begin, they are so looking forward to today. And I don’t want to wear the martyr hat. So, I remember I’m the captain of the boat and I put one foot in front of the other and navigate into unknown territory. I let go of expectations and just jump in and see where it goes.
I’m sure tonight I’ll post plenty of pretty pictures that will make some out there feel less-than or jealous that I have it all together. This is why I’m sharing this blog post. I think sharing our struggles, the truth behind the pretty pictures, is a gift to others. We are all human. We all have our struggles and fall down on our face sometimes. It’s easy to pretend it’s all roses with the internet. But the truth is: life is hard sometimes. Parenting is hard sometimes. Mothering can sometimes makes you feel like your heart has been ripped out. We must endure and push forward. Feel it all, give ourselves a hug and keep putting our feet down for the next step. That’s all there is to do.
The darkest day of the year has passed. This turning of the wheel is such a special time. It feels so different than the summer solstice. Each year that we celebrate, it feels calmer and more reverent.
We made sun bread to start the day.
We also made pizza, which I like to make on the solstice as it is big and round like the sun.
As the sun began setting, we went outside to build a fire. We kept it burning while we ate dinner (inside, as it’s very cold out!). We then headed out to burn our Yule log after dinner.
Every year, we get a log of wood and wind cotton string all around it. We then sit and discuss what intentions we want for ourselves in the new year and we write it on small bits of paper. These papers get tucked into the string and the log then gets placed into the fire. Last night, the moon was very full and the sky was clear. It was a perfect night for a solstice fire!
Tonight was our spiral walk with our co-op. There was rain forecasted, so we set it up inside. It was lovely!
And so, winter is here again!
I’ve been needing to do my prop paintings for my 3rd grader’s lessons, and this week, I finally got the paint out and knocked them out. I had to do 9 paintings for the first 4 months of lessons. I still have 2 drawings to draw and some modeling figures to create, but those will be done soon enough. The painting can take a bit more time.
Here are some photos from my first night of wet-on-wet painting. Note that I intentionally try to make sure my paintings are perfect. They will be used as the prop while my son and I paint it together during his main lesson, and he can be a bit of a perfectionist. So, it is best if mine don’t look stunning.
I use stockmar water colors.
My kids have been painting rocks almost everyday. My daughter found a painted rock at the library and is hooked! She likes to leave them places for others to find.
Look for a blog post coming soon with a mini run down of what our planned out year will look like. I’m excited to start the new school year next week!
Not much blogging happening as not much sleep is happening. The babe is working on his sixth tooth and this whole cutting teeth thing isn’t a walk in the park for him. I’ve learned that it usually means 2-3 sleepless nights for him (and me).
We’ve had the usual stuff going on. I’m starting to enter full-on planning mode for our 2018-2019 school year. I just finished reading, from cover to cover, the third grade curriculum that we are using. (Waldorf Essentials). Soon I’ll start getting into the nitty gritty of ninth grade planning, too.
As ever, LOTS of babywearing happening these days. Thank goodness for wraps. I don’t know how we’d get through without them. I have so many pictures of babywearing but I still struggle with my feelings of posting pictures of my kids on the internet.
Some of our photos from the last few days. We are celebrating May Day tomorrow by going to a nature area park tomorrow for a picnic.
Flowers from our yard:
On our morning walk:
Some of our sweet hens:
Big and little kid wearing:
I don’t know who is to credit for this meme, but this is one of my favorites: