This journey of parenting and homeschooling and being home with our kids full time is awesome. And yet, some days, it brings me to my knees and makes me question everything. That was my day today. So much crying, screaming, fighting, and other big feelings, it almost knocks the wind out of me. I saw this today and thought, YES! This is only sane way for me to move forward though days like this.
A child screaming that they hate me? Accept it, as it is what is happening. (Doesn’t mean that I like it, of course). A child crying LOUDLY for 30 minutes in my arms because she wanted to stay longer at the park? Accept it, as it is what is happening. Embracing the moment actually does help me to move through these hard moments and not give in to my desire to go hide in my shell, in the quiet (if only I was a turtle).
I went through a dark period a few years ago where days like this would have me in the depths of hopelessness and overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy, and it would linger for days or weeks. I’m very grateful to have navigated my way beyond that trap of my thoughts and into a new reality. We still have these sorts of days, and I still have dismal thoughts pop in my head while we are in the midst of them. But my spiritual practice is my lifeboat now. Meditation and prayer, self-empathy, and embracing what is (letting go of resisting), remembering we are all whole and perfect (imperfectly perfect, that is) including my raging child, and that my thoughts about what is happening around me is the source of my suffering.
So much gratitude for sleep each night and a brand new day each morning!